Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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