this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
