in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
