the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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