Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
