Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
