i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Princesses don't give blow jobs
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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