just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
