im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
