oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
