I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
