Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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