if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
