I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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