I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize