i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
