Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
