I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
