New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
