sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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