help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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