i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
