accomplished twins. life is a go
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
