I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize