this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
