No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize