So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
