whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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