There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am one with the molecules
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
