There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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