oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize