oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Let's get the cat blown out
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
