i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
