please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
