What did we do last night that was yellow?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
