Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Pappa wants mamma naked
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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