I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
where are my eyebrows?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
