i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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