Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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