I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
