Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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