why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
