dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
