Me. At least after what I've been through.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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