Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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