we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
