So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
