I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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