but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize