I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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