My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
