did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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