Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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