No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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