I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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