she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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