I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
operation harelip BJ is a go
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
