Who did Billy Mays play for?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
