I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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