I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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