So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
