You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
