They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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