Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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