how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
