i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
