okay pat passed out under dana's car
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
