I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
